Love Amplified (Heavy Influence Book 3) Read online

  Love Amplified

  A Heavy Influence Novel

  By Ann Marie Frohoff

  Copyright © 2016 by Ann Marie Frohoff

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use the material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  AMF Publishing

  Ann Marie Frohoff

  [email protected]

  First Digital Edition: October 2016

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Frohoff, Ann Marie, 1971—

  Love Amplified : a novel / by Ann Marie Frohoff.— 1st edition

  Summary: When Jake and Alyssa rekindle their love affair they are faced with an unexpected, life-altering decision to live the life

  ISBN-10: 0-9916572-7-6 ISBN-13: 978-0-9916572-7-8

  ALSO BY ANN MARIE FROHOFF

  Heavy Influence Series

  Skid Out (A Prequel Novella)

  First Kiss (Book 1)

  Fever Pitch (A Novella, Book 1.5)

  Broken Notes (Book 2)

  Higher Octave (A Novella, Book 2.5

  If you keep chasing shooting stars,

  you will never feel the warmth of the sun.

  ~ Ann Marie Frohoff

  For Chris & Rio

  1

  Alyssa

  There are things you can’t un-see…things that remain like thick burn scars, always there to remind you of a fire you couldn’t run away from. Living in the same town as my rock star ex-boyfriend was one of them. Jake Masters, the love of my life and the torment of my existence had moved back from New York City, unexpectedly, and I had spotted him in the most unbelievable way.

  Standing in the middle of the Manhattan Beach Pier, the ocean waves crashed against the pier piling, matching the pounding of my heart. My emotions churned like the blue water bubbling beneath me. I felt the heat of emotion rising up my neck. I kept blinking, not believing what I was seeing. I looked back at Nathan, who’d always been there for me during my darkest of days with Jake in high school. My friend, Nathan, who became my boyfriend, back to friend, then turned fiancé. He was talking on his cell phone. He’d answered a call from his hospital intern program, stalling our all too serious marriage conversation.

  Waiting for him to get off the phone, I had leaned against the pier’s railing, looking out over the sand. It was a warm, spring Monday afternoon and there were more people on the beach than usual. Too many kids ran around at the shoreline and I thought it must have been a school holiday.

  That’s when I saw him – Jake. My hands trembled instantly and my legs grew wobbly. I took in a deep breath to get ahold of myself. His shirtless back faced me. There was no mistaking him. The tattoo dedicated to me, angled over his left bicep and down his shoulder blade, taunted me. It was as if it were alive, its strands of hair waving back and forth as he dug in the sand next to a little boy and a woman with long black hair. I could see them clearly as I stood above them on the pier. They were building a sand castle. I turned away, unable to believe it. I leaned my back against the railing, watching Nathan as he slowly walked toward me.

  My handsome Nathan…maybe not mine anymore. I didn’t deserve him. I never did. This was a sign. My heart would always belong to Jake. No man deserves a woman who would always pine for someone else.

  What was I seeing?

  I didn’t want to turn back to get another glimpse, but I had no control. I casually glanced over my shoulder. Now I could hear their laughter, as if they were the only ones on the beach, and it shredded me to my core. Nathan finally made it to my side and I watched him as he rubbed his jaw, despondent. He’d flown in that morning, just to see me, and to give me an ultimatum.

  “Alyssa, if we’re not gonna set a date, this has to end…” - that’s what he’d said right before his phone rang. I still couldn’t believe he took the call, maybe because he wanted me to suffer. I’d dragged our engagement out long enough. I looked back over my shoulder again. Seeing Jake play happy family made my stomach turn.

  Who were they? That’s probably his new girlfriend, I thought, wondering whom the kid was. Would Jake date someone with a kid? Obviously.

  I felt the life rush out of me like the air in a punctured balloon as memories flooded through my mind, lingering on the things that caused our complete and final breakup. What the hell did I expect? Of course he’d move on with his life. I ended it so harshly and heartlessly, but he deserved my cold shoulder. He’d been sleeping with his deceased best friend’s wife, more than once. He was on drugs and not the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I remembered the pain and hurt in Jake’s eyes when I threw the ring he’d given me, our promise of forever, in his face as if it happened yesterday. I never looked back.

  Nathan tucked his phone back in his pocket and I launched off of the railing, grabbing him by the arm, leading him away. I didn’t want him to see what and whom I was staring at. His face was still serious and his green eyes more somber. I knew the end was near, but not in the way I’d expected.

  “Everything okay with work?” I linked my arm through his.

  He sighed and pulled away from me. “Aly, what’s it gonna be?”

  I stopped to face him. “You want an answer now?”

  “Alyssa, you’re graduating. I…” He hung his head and my heartbeat was in my ears. “I met someone, Alyssa, and I’m interested in taking her out. If you’re not going to marry me…we both need to move on with our lives.”

  The ringing in my ears made me dizzy. I watched Nathan’s face as he eagerly looked at me for a response and all I kept hearing in my mind was “…I met someone…”

  “Nathan,” I crossed my arms, trying to figure out how I was feeling. I was both hurt and not surprised. “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense…”

  “Yes, it does…it came out wrong. Alyssa, I love you.” He was flustered and it made me feel worse about everything. “It’s about you not wanting to commit to a life with me...” He gulped, searching my eyes, “and I met someone in my program. I spend a lot of time with her. She enjoys my company and she made a comment that if I wasn’t engaged, she’d ask me out. It was a simple, flirtatious comment, yes, but it got me to thinking…since you won’t commit to a wedding date.”

  Sadness and guilt gutted me. “Nathan you knew…”

  “I know.” He interrupted, frustrated. “I’ve grown tired of hoping you’ll come around, Alyssa. I’m ready to start my life with someone. I know we’re young but I wanna build a life with someone from nothing and I wanted that to be you.”

  Alyssa. He never calls me Alyssa.

  “You don’t even wear the ring I gave you.” He continued. “I should have known when you stopped wearing it.” His arms flew up in indignation. “I want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I thought I could be something better in your life. I thought I could show you the love you deserve, show you how a man is supposed to treat a woman.”

  “Nathan, if this is about Jake…”

  “That’s part of it.” He said loudly, drawing a bit of attention to us.

  “I wouldn’t marry him, either.” I practically shouted, blurting out more than I wanted, “he asked me several times, too.” I felt
heavy like I could collapse from emotional weight.

  He looked confused. I’d never shared this information with him.

  “Really.” He laughed to himself, almost mockingly. He turned away and his arms flew out again as he paced back to me sarcastically saying, “I suppose that makes me feel slightly better.”

  This was a side of Nathan I’d not seen before and I ignored his biting contention, saying, “I’m just fucked up, what can I say?”

  #

  Nadine spooned the green liquid into her mouth with eyes bulging in disbelief, staring over her bowl of asparagus soup waiting for me to say more. I’d paused to reflect on what I’d just shared (running into Jake on the street in front of the town ice cream parlor). Not only had I witnessed Jake in the comfort of faux family fun, I’d met the woman he was with and her kid. I called Nadine in a horribly delicate state as soon as Nathan departed. She came to meet me right away.

  Nadine Lewis was my best friend and had been by my side through all of my ups and downs with Jake ever since our love affair began when I was just fourteen years old. Nadine was now engaged to one of Jake’s best friends and business partner, Martin Jones.

  She swallowed, bringing back the conversation to Nathan. “So, Nathan broke it off before you ran into Jake?”

  I shook my head. “He finished it off during the drive back to my parent’s house. He said he loved me, but couldn’t wait for something that may not ever happen. He didn’t want to pretend anymore.”

  “Wow. You don’t even seem sad.” She said, spooning more soup into her mouth.

  “I don’t know what I am.” I whined pathetically. “I am sad. I’m mad, jealous…Nathan’s one of the greatest guys I know and I’ll probably kick myself when I’m thirty, living with thirty cats. I’m totally and utterly broken. Jake ruined me and now it looks like he’s living happily ever after. What a fucker.” I covered my face with my hands, sinking down into my seat.

  Nadine took in a deep breath, not arguing my remarks, saying, “I didn’t know he’d moved back, I swear. I would have told you.”

  “I didn’t think I’d feel this way when I saw Jake again and I never thought Nathan would kick me to the curb in a million years, either. I thought I had at least until he finished medical school. By then, we’d know for sure what we wanted out of life, you know?”

  Nadine didn’t care about my rambling thoughts, saying, “Do you want me to find out about the girl?”

  “Nathan’s girl?”

  “No, Jake’s girl.”

  “You mean lady. She’s a woman.” I leaned forward, whispering. “And she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

  Nadine swallowed hard, almost like uh-oh, then she waved me off. “That doesn’t mean shit. Look at all the hot celebrities whose boyfriends and husbands cheat on them. Beauty doesn’t hold on to a man.” She eyeballed me. “So, you want me to find out?”

  I laughed unhappily, shaking my head at her. “Nadine, you know you’re gonna nose around no matter what I say.”

  She nodded, eyebrows raised. “You’re damn right I am. I’m gonna text Marty right now.” She reached for her phone.

  I sat up straight, reaching out to her. “Please don’t. I don’t want Marty to say anything to Jake.”

  “He won’t.” She looked at me like I was stupid. “He’s totally in-tune with my ways.”

  “Please just ask him in person – if and when you see him. I don’t want it to be a thing.” I leaned back, taking my iced tea in my hand. “It doesn’t matter anyway. None of it matters. I’m twenty-two years old. I need to get over Nathan and Jake, once and for all. I’ve been toggling between the two of them my entire existence. I’m graduating in a few days and headed to Miami. Who knows?” I shrugged, “I may stay there.”

  “What are you going to Miami for? Training? I wanna come.”

  I nodded. “Yep. Just for a few weeks. There’s a group of USA team girls meeting there to train and I thought, ‘why not?’, then I’ll be back here for a bit while I figure out my life.” I slurped down the rest of my tea. “Please come. I’d love to make a vacation out of it. I haven’t been anywhere vacation-y since I went to London to meet Jake…a lifetime ago.”

  “When are you leaving?”

  “In three days. I’m excited. I’m staying in South Beach. It’s time I spread my wings.” I was saying words I wanted to believe, but all I could think about was Jake and his new life. I need to make my own new life.

  “When you coming back?”

  I shrugged. “I bought a one-way ticket.”

  Nadine nodded, surprised dotting her face. “Okay. I’m going. I have a shit ton of vacation days and my boss will just have to get over it.” She laughed, clapping her hands. “I’ve never been to Miami.”

  We talked about what we’d do while we were in Miami and it got me more excited about the trip. My bubbling uncertainty about life fell to a mere simmer. I’d be okay once the shock of the day wore off.

  “You gonna stay with your parents when you get back?”

  “If I come back. I don’t want to. I want to get a studio or something.” I answered, biting into my Waldorf Chicken Salad.

  “What are you gonna do for work?”

  “Coach volleyball.” I said through a mouthful, swallowing. “I’ve got some ideas. Beach volleyball has really taken off now with it being an NCAA sport. Let’s just say there’s lots of money to be made coaching twelve-year-olds.”

  Nadine nodded. “Yeah, but is it a career?” She stopped chewing her bread, shrugging. “Sorry, I have to ask. I don’t know much about sports, Aly.”

  I giggled. “It’s okay. Yes, as a career. Each kid pays a club thousands of dollars for training, and private lessons run about one hundred an hour or more. I have ideas about other things I may get into, but I just need to take a break for a while. I may travel the world playing volleyball if I can get some sponsors. In the meantime, I’ll just stay with my parents until I figure it out.”

  “You know I’d totally get a place with you, but I’m gonna mooch off my parents until Marty and I get married.”

  I looked at her warmly. My boy crazy friend found an unlikely husband-to-be. I was jealous. “You lucky bitch. I’m so happy for you.”

  Nadine laughed out loud and looked at me thoughtfully. “Congratulations, Aly. You did it. You’re graduating college!”

  Butterflies fluttered. “Thanks. I can’t believe it, especially with all the baggage I’ve been carrying around. But that’s all over now, onto a fresh start. I’m done with my past.”

  Saying it was easy. Leaving it behind would be nearly impossible, especially when my parents still lived next door to Jake’s parents. I’d learned from my mom that Jake rented a house on 16th Street, just up from the park and five blocks from the beach. He still wasn’t driving, has been dead sober for over two years, and he’d begun working on a solo record.

  He was sober.

  2

  Jake

  Grace slipped from my arms like a warm breeze.

  I’d barely felt the bed move when a strange sound stirred me awake. Grace was getting dressed and her long black hair waved around obscuring her face. It was barely dawn. The light peeking through the curtain had that deep purple hue. She had no idea I was watching her. Her graceful long limbs moved quickly as she sailed quietly from my room without looking back. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t say anything to her. Maybe it was because of her urgency. I felt it. She’d stayed too long.

  Nine hours earlier, she’d arrived at my front door unannounced, and I’d worried something had happened to Ethan, her son. But she was only concerned about my well-being. In the months leading up to our most intimate moment, Grace got to know about my demons and their impact on me. When I’d told her that the girl we’d run into on the street was Alyssa, she wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid, like drowning my sorrows in a vat of whiskey.

  No. The urge wasn’t there, not this time. Only my plans for the future bur
ned bright, and Grace and I lay in each other’s arms, talking about our dreams. It was the first time, since my teenage years with Aly, that I’d lain nearly naked in a bed with a woman without batting a home run. Sure, having Grace’s soft warm body pressed against mine had a few dirty thoughts flying by, but not enough to persuade me into seducing her. Grace was a beautiful sparrow with mending wings and I’d be damned to make any moves on her for my own selfish reasons. I was the first man she’d let into her life since her husband died two years earlier. I’d let her lead the way, and the way she led was enough for me – besides, Aly was really all I could think about and that’s what we talked about, too.

  “Why do you want to go to her graduation knowing she’s engaged to someone else?”

  “Because I want to make sure she really wants to marry him.”

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business anymore.” Grace said matter-of-factly and lifted her head from my chest to look me in the eye.

  “Is that right?” I smirked. I loved her directness. It was refreshing. “She wasn’t wearing the ring he gave her.”

  Her face twisted. “That doesn’t mean anything and you know it.” She said moving off me, cupping her chin in her hand. “Jake, what do you think’s going to happen?”

  I laughed a little, making a joke. “That she’s going to see me, rush to my side, and we’ll live happily ever after.”

  She shook her head. “You’re insane. Why do you want to torture yourself?”

  I tucked both arms behind my head, thinking. “I just need to know, you know? I need to see it all with my own two eyes, Grace. I’ve had a long time to think about how I got here. If I’d made better choices, she would be mine and we’d have a killer life together. I was impatient and reactionary. A total fuckin’ baby. I should have stuck to sobriety and I shouldn’t have had a relationship with Sienna. I shouldn’t have allowed it. I knew what I was doing and I just didn’t care enough to stop it. I betrayed Dump’s memory. What kind of man fuck’s his best friend’s wife?”