Love Amplified (Heavy Influence Book 3) Page 2

  My last words hovered in the air like a thick fog and I could see them sinking into Grace’s mind, but she didn’t budge. I hated myself for what I did. The thought of the whole thing sickened me and I swore I felt Dump’s presence over me. God, Dump, I’m so sorry.

  Grace’s beautiful sky blue eyes searched my face and I could feel her chest expanding against my ribcage as she breathed in. “You’re a different man now, Jake.” She shook her head. “People make mistakes. At some point, you’re going to have to move on. From all of it, including Alyssa.”

  My stomach sank hearing the brutal truth. I knew she was right, but there was something in Aly’s eyes, and the feeling that webbed around me. The pull was still there and I had to explore it until the end – whatever the end was. Here was this beautiful woman, lying next to me in her underwear, schooling me on the harsh realities of life. She knew better than anyone at the moment.

  “Exploring my potential last chance is part of moving on for me.”

  Grace smiled sadly, knowingly. “I understand.”

  I reached out, touching her face, and for fleeting moment I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to escape the darkness and fill the hole that was inside me, but I only pulled her close. All I needed from her was warm comfort. It was a strange feeling I’d not experienced before, wanting a woman next to me for only her grounding strength. I laid there stroking her long hair down her back and listened to what she had to say.

  “The difference for me is…my husband’s never coming back. My dreams with him will never be realized. I have to create new dreams and you may need to create new dreams, too.”

  We lay unmoving, ruminating on what was said. The TV’s volume took the edge off our silence. A guilty feeling pricked at me.

  “I’m sorry.” I whispered holding her more tightly and feeling like the whole thing going on between us was wrong, very wrong. “Grace, I don’t wanna create any confusion in your life, or mine. I’m lonely and I’m uncertain about a lot, but I know I’m stoked when you’re here and I’ve enjoyed spending time with you and Ethan.”

  Her hand ran down my arm. “You don’t have to worry about me, Jake. I promise. I’m not delusional. I’m definitely not thinking that the young, hot rock star is gonna whisk me away for a happily ever after.”

  Her tone was playful, but her remark surged through the undercurrent of what brought us together. “Grace, any younger man would be hella lucky to catch you.”

  “Please.” She yawned, shifting around me getting more comfortable. “For one moment, when I first met you and you asked me out, I thought ‘could this be real’? And then I realized it would be as real as it was meant to be. I was as curious as you.”

  “Grace, you’ve had my interest since I first laid eyes on you.” It was the truth and I still wasn’t sure how she’d fit in going forward.

  “It took me a long time to even think about what my life would be like with another man in it. I didn’t think about it until I met you and I never thought I’d feel anything ever again.” She admitted, nuzzling into my chest. “Thank you for unthawing me.”

  The sentiment was equal. “I should be thanking you.”

  #

  Sienna’s memoir screamed for me to touch it and it was as good of a time as any to begin reading her tell-all tale. I had nothing going on until my trip to London, which was still a few days away. I almost regretted digging into Sienna’s whereabouts and asking my affluent mob-like New York neighbor to look into such details. Thinking back to Mr. Todd’s smug insinuation and him alluding to knowing of my indiscretion with Sienna – I shuddered at all the regretful memories.

  I’d have enough time to digest her story and maybe make a plan to tell my own version if necessary. I’d be damned if I’d let her decide my fate for me. The more I thought of what the book would reveal, the angrier I got about the fact that she cut me off – we were like family, even if it was grossly dysfunctional. The thought of her disclosing such personal and potentially harmful information had my urgency growing tenfold to read it. My stomach turned, nervous at what she would share and how she would share it. I shoved the manuscript back into it’s envelope along with the pictures and decided to head over to my mom’s. I wanted the comfort of home – my real home. I’d decided I had to come clean to Notting and my mom about Sienna, anyway. I was about to become another public relations nightmare and for the first time, I didn’t want them to be blindsided.

  When I arrived at my childhood home, my stomach was in knots. I’d walked. Usually a long quiet walk did me some good, but not today. The closer I got to my house – and to Aly’s right next to mine, the more tangled my gut became. I didn’t want to bother Gabe, my driver, for just a few city blocks. I thought about maybe, finally, getting my driver’s license reinstated. I’d see about that too.

  I stood at the steps to the front door staring over at Aly’s house. It was frozen in time. The large, stumpy palm tree, the wrought iron gate, and the yellow façade all as it was when we were young and in love. It was 1 PM and there weren’t any cars in her driveway.

  One more day until she graduates.

  I picked up the small terracotta pot and the same time-worn key that sat underneath it for the past fifteen years, was there waiting for anyone who needed it. Feeling it’s rough surface, I wondered if it still worked. It did and I knocked before opening the door.

  “Hello?” I called out, pushing the door open farther. No one was home, which surprised me because my mom’s car was in the driveway. She must be with Notting. I eyed my surroundings and everything was the same as it ever was. The wall of windows looking out to the backyard pool, the massive television covering the north wall, and the same earth-tone area rugs lay on the floor. The rugs Aly used to be afraid to step on. The thought reminded me to take off my shoes and I tossed the envelope onto the sofa.

  The only things that were different were the new picture frames with photos of Notting and my mother, chronicling their life together as friends through the years. They were now an official couple. He’d moved in and it made me happy, especially knowing that Notting was my real father.

  I searched for Michael’s pictures, the man I’d known as my dad. I spotted them perched on a far away bookshelf, along with pictures of us as a family. I walked over, taking one into my hand, feeling a bit sad knowing that I wasn’t his son. I suppose it didn’t matter. He’d never know. He was an awesome dad until he died and I carried his last name. I didn’t want to judge him for his infidelity, now knowing of my mother and Notting’s sordid beginnings. We were all one big bag of shitty choices and compulsions.

  Everyone has skeletons in their closet, some just more than others.

  I slid out Sienna’s manuscript, placing it on the coffee table – With the Band Rita’s Revolt ~ Love, Loss & Unexpected Gifts, A Memoir, By Sienna De Luis. My hands instantly grew damp. I wiped them on my jeans and took several pages into my hand and began to read. It was both heartwarming and painful for me to read about Victor (Dump) and Sienna through her memories because of the intimacy in her words having known them both so well. The memory of the times she wrote about were clear as day to me, because I was there. We were all just kids. But to know her thoughts and feelings about Dump when she was just a teenager and to read her recollection was arduous. I found myself skimming the pages, searching for something new when I finally arrived at the word hospital. This is where it got interesting and I began taking in each word.

  During the time of Dump’s sickness was when Sienna’s personality began to change. She’d become unhinged. I was there to console her. She’d been unable to confront his inevitable demise and I’d been the one to take care of the details during his decline and after his death, saving all of their possessions from being confiscated and sold at auction because Sienna fell off the deep end and didn’t pay the bills or rent.

  That’s not what I was reading and it confused and enraged me. She glossed over what happened after Dump’s death, painting a picture of a courageous wife.
A knock came at the front door and I ignored it, reading faster, upset that Sienna rewrote history. The knock came louder and more aggressive, forcing me to answer. Peeping through the hole, the person standing on the other side of the door was the last person I ever expected to see.

  3

  Alyssa

  My heart stopped.

  I thought I would faint. Jake stood facing me and the shock of seeing him standing there had me breathless. I could barely swallow, like I didn’t have a tongue. Words were impossible. I extended my arm handing him a piece of mail addressed to Notting. It had been delivered to my house by accident. The look on Jake’s face was of equal shock when he took the letter from me. His bright blue eyes took on a wistful air the longer we stood staring at each other in silence.

  I managed a little shrug and my tongue finally came to life. “Say hello to Notting and your mom for me.” I waved and turned to leave.

  “They’re not here.” Jake’s voice was hoarse, sending bolts of electricity straight to my fingertips.

  I kept walking away, even though every part of me wanted to stop. I looked back over my shoulder, forcing a smile. “Tell them when they get home then.” I remarked and kept trudging across the lawn.

  “Aly,” he called out and my heart went into overdrive. “Can we catch up?”

  I stopped just as I reached my front gate, fighting the urge to walk back. Taking ahold of the wrought iron gate with both hands, I gripped it tightly until my knuckles turned white, fighting Jake’s gravitational pull.

  He stepped out from his porch with slumped shoulders, swinging his arms up in a pleading manner. “Come on,” he croaked. “I actually got something serious to share. It’s about Sienna.”

  My stomach lurched. I didn’t want to know anything about Sienna. I’d written her off a long time ago, but curiosity got the best of me. “Is she okay?” My arms dropped heavily at my sides and I shook my head. “You know, Jake, not to be insensitive if something’s happened, but she’s really the last person I care to know about.”

  He nodded. “I understand.” He took in a deep breath before saying, “She’s writing a book and…um…I have the manuscript here.”

  I stood frozen, staring at him as his sparkling blue eyes begged me. I wanted to scream in his gorgeous face,“Why the fuck do you think I care!” and my mind told me to walk away, but my heart urged my feet to walk to him.

  “Come on, Aly…it’s not just about that.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, taking me back to when we were younger and my heart began to melt.

  I gulped and my legs carried me toward him as I reminded myself of all the damage and betrayal. Hard facts that helped keep my composure.

  “Alright, tell me.” I said flatly, crossing my arms to my chest. As our eyes began to mingle, the warm buzz between us grew.

  No.

  “Come here.” He gave me a sorry smile and pulled me to him by the elbow, wrapping me in his arms, just as I secretly wanted. I was stiff against his chest, battling my impulse to sink into him and he gave me a tighter squeeze whispering, “Stop fighting me, please. Can’t we be friends?”

  I gently pushed away, putting a few inches between us and gave him a pained look. “Why? So I can be reminded of all the trauma?”

  His eyes roamed my face and I swore I could feel the warm caress of his hand. “Don’t forget all the love.”

  This time I moved completely away from his embrace. “What is it that you want to catch up on, and don’t make it about us. Us happened a long time ago.”

  His lips pursed and a lopsided smile sprung to his face. “It’ll always come back to us, Alycat…” he said in a velvety murmur. His penetrating gaze melted my insides like hot candle wax. He blew out a heavy breath and before I could give a smart retort to combat what I was truly feeling, he quickly said, “But for now, it’s about how I’m gonna get ahead of this bullshit Sienna’s about to pull.”

  “What?” I didn’t want to hear her name, but wanted to know what was going on. “Where’s she at anyway?”

  “Far, far away…in Miami.”

  Zing. My fingertips tingled hearing she was living where I was about to travel to and I wondered for a brief second if I’d run into her.

  “Come in.” He stepped away, walking into the house, and I warily followed him in. Then he asked, “First, tell me when your graduation is.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m gonna try and go. I’m sure my mom would like to, too.”

  A frustrated huff escaped me. “Please don’t come, Jake. I don’t need a spectacle.” I shook my head and tried being blunt to discourage any desires, more for my benefit. “I need to keep living my life without you in it, and I’m sure your girlfriend would appreciate my absence as well.”

  “So, this is how it’s gonna be? Never to be friends again, like we never knew each other?”

  He ignored my remark and I ignored his. “You wanted to tell me about Sienna?”

  I leaned against the back of the sofa and he sat on it, reaching for a stack of papers. “See this? This is a tell all memoir.”

  “And?”

  A loud slap sounded when he dropped the paper stack back on the table. “I’ve read…skimmed, some of it and it’s hard to read, you know, Dump and all…but she’s not telling the truth about how shit went down.”

  “How so? You know what…never mind.” I held my hand up and stood from my propped position. “I can’t hear this. I don’t want to know anything about anything. I was there, and then I wasn’t, and it’s all I need to know.”

  Jake looked daunted, staring off into the backyard. “I’m sorry, Alyssa. I truly am. I’m sorry about what I did.” He leaned back into the sofa cushions and raked his hands down his face. It was hard for me to feel sorry for him, but a part of me did because I knew he was out of his mind on drugs. “There are only three people who know the truth and I’m pretty sure the rest of the world will know, too, as soon as this is published.” His head tipped back to look up at me. “It’s the worst feeling, knowing I’m gonna bring more shame and embarrassment to Notting and my mom…and you.” He reached for my hand and for a split second I almost pulled away, but I let his fingers web with mine.

  “Did she write about your affair?” The words barely slipped from my lips.

  He held my hand more firmly. “Was it really an affair? Doesn’t an affair allude to someone being cheated on?”

  I shrugged, and my gut turned at the memory of the moment Jake admitted to me that rumors of his disgraceful relationship with Sienna were true. The moment my entire world changed and dreams of any future with Jake shattered.

  “Semantics.” I replied dryly.

  Jake rested his forehead against the back of my hand and I struggled not to run my fingers through his hair, asking, “Who else knows?”

  “Bobby and Grace. I came here to let my parents in on the surprise.”

  Grace was the lady I’d seen him with at the beach, his new girlfriend. Jake didn’t look up from his downtrodden position and the warmth of his skin pressed against my hand moved me. I couldn’t fight the urge anymore and placed a comforting hand on his head. He turned and his soft shaven cheek brushed over my skin.

  “What are you gonna do if you’re so sure she’s gonna out your story?”

  He let go of my hand and shifted to face me. “I’m gonna have Marty film some sort of admission, and then maybe do the media rounds, write a song about it,” he shrugged, “I don’t really know. Fuck her.”

  I nodded. “Well what else can you do? It is what it is, right?”

  He looked at me pathetically. “Aly you have to forgive me and let me make this right, some how, some way. Once this hits, you’re probably gonna be dragged into this, too. You’re gonna be hounded for a statement or some shit. You know what it’ll be like. I’ll be damned if I let her dictate how this’ll go down. She should have fucking told me she was writing a book.”

  “But you’re not sure yet. Read the book, Jake.”


  “No, but I had someone read it, and they alluded to it.”

  A bit of panic grew in me. The thought of being thrust into a media firestorm again worried me. I guessed now I was grateful he brought it up. “Thanks for letting me know. It woulda sucked being ambushed by this.”

  Then he asked a ridiculous question, looking young and eager. “Do you wanna read it? I can make you a copy.”

  I blinked at him several times, thinking he was so clueless that it almost made me laugh, and ignored him. “Umm…I’m gonna go,” I said throwing a thumb over my shoulder, walking away. “Just let me know if your hunch is correct, so I can brace myself.”

  Jake jumped up and over to me. “I’m sorry. That was stupid to say.” His eyes closed in agony. “I can’t get it right with you, can I?”

  I still loved him so much that it killed me to separate myself from him so deliberately. “Not anymore.”

  “I’m gonna keep trying.”

  He stepped directly in front of me and the energy swirled around us, like it always did, pulling us together. Would it ever die? “How would Grace feel about this?”

  Our toes were nearly touching and our faces were inches apart. The familiar scent of him almost had me until he spoke. “She’s not what you think.”

  I’m not sure why his words upset me, but they did. Probably because Grace had no idea I was still even a thing. “I gotta go, Jake.” I turned and walked away. “Just let me know what’s going on.”

  He didn’t follow me, and right when I reached the door, he asked a heart-stopping question. “Why aren’t you wearing your engagement ring?”

  I didn’t want to tell him the truth.

  4

  Jake

  Weak in the knees, that’s how Aly left me. I was such a fucking fool for her. I knew her better than she knew herself. That’s how tight our bond was. She and Nathan were in trouble. The look in her eyes said it all. The shock of my question only flashed over her face for a brief second when she looked at her naked finger and shrugged, saying, “Volleyball and rings don’t play well together.”